


Thanks To Radar!

by Reiko_Forrester



Category: Saturday Night Live, Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Don't Read This, F/M, I wrote this 1000 years ago, Secret Identity, Smut, This is irredeemable trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:24:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7495563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiko_Forrester/pseuds/Reiko_Forrester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  'So you work nights?' Matt asked. He looked angry about this.</p><p> '...Yeah.' She waited, hoping this was the end of the conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanks To Radar!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in the throes of TFA fever, after Adam Driver hosted SNL, and then shut it away like a forgotten family member. It's total shit, hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Massive thanks to Madama_Flutterby for beta'ing and for not laughing at this.

Rhora turned the corner, heading down the hall through the main hub toward the staff quarters, thinking about how nice a hot shower would be, when the wrench came skidding to a stop at her feet. Frowning, she picked it up, looking around for the source.

    Crouched a few feet away by the calcinator tube was a young man with blonde hair and glasses. Judging from his uniform, it was his wrench. She walked over to him, holding out the wrench, and said, 'You lost this.'

    The man looked up, seeing the tool, then focusing on her. He was sort of cute, in a weird way. 'Are you new here? I haven't seen you before.' He continued staring at her. She smiled awkwardly, still holding out the wrench. She was about to put it in his hand and get on with her life when the man found his voice.

    'Thank you,' he mumbled, taking the tool. 'I'm new here,' he added, belatedly answering her question.

    'I'm Rhora,' she told him, offering her hand.

    The man stood up. He towered over her. 'Matt,' he said, taking her hand in his and shaking mechanically. 'Are you a radar technician?' he asked.

    Rhora glanced down at her uniform, then at his identical one. 'Uh, yes,' she said. 'I'm just coming off duty.'

    'So you work nights?' Matt asked. He looked angry about this.

    '...Yeah.' She waited, hoping this was the end of the conversation.

    'Oh.' Matt was actually pouting. 'You seem a lot nicer than my supervisor.'

    'You mean Hana?' No wonder he seemed mad. Rhora laughed and said 'What, did you make her miss her muffin?'

    Matt's face broke into a wide grin, and Rhora mentally upgraded him from kind of cute to adorable. 'Hey, I gotta go, I'm beat. But it was nice to meet you, Matt.' She turned and went on her way, glancing back at Matt as she went down the hall.

    As soon as she got to her quarters, there was a communication waiting for her. She opened it, and was shocked. Effective immediately, all senior radar staff were to switch shifts. Which meant no bed for her. The directive was signed by Kylo Ren, commander of the base. He was not the sort of man whose orders were questioned. If he was even a man - no one had ever seen him under the robotic mask and black cloaks he wore.

    Rhora fixed herself a meal and took a book off the shelf. It was going to be a long day.

 

    After a very long day and night, Rhona reported for duty in the radar room. She took a swallow of the caf she'd snuck in before going to her station to see what areas needed repair.

    'You can't bring food or drinks in here.'

    Surprised, Rhora turned to the technician who'd just told her the rules, intending to have him sent to General Hux for discipline. When she saw it was Matt, the guy from yesterday, she smiled tensely. 'Good morning to you, too,' she said.

    As if remembering himself, Matt's eyes fell to the floor and he said, 'Sorry, Commander.'

    'Don't worry about it. Why don't you go to Sector 28 and see why it's not picking up?'

    Matt stood frozen to the spot, his mouth open a bit, before slowly responding, 'Uh, yes, ma'am.' He turned and started for the door, then stopped, returning to the tool area and getting a belt before leaving again.

    Rhora sighed. Where the hell had they found this guy? Cute or not, he was strange.

 

    When her break came around, Rhora was in the commissary working on the next schedule, when a giant shadow darkened her data-pad. She looked up, and of course saw the blonde newcomer standing over her.

    'Mind if I join you?' Matt asked, immediately taking a seat. She should've been annoyed, but she smiled to herself and nodded. 

    'Sure,' she said, more to herself than him.

    They sat in silence for a while, Rhora continuing with her work, and Matt sitting very still beside her. She forgot he was there until he spoke. 'Do you want to sit with me at General Hux's mandatory speech tomorrow afternoon?'

    She stopped what she was doing, fighting a smile as she looked up from her datapad. He was staring intently at her, his face blank but his eyes hopeful, almost pleading. In that moment, she felt like she might start kissing this blonde weirdo. But she couldn't.

    'Matt, you know the rules about fraternizing with superiors, right?' At least she assumed he knew. Whoever had trained him had done poorly.

    He straightened his posture away from her, abruptly looking away. 'Yes. Of course, Commander.' Awkwardly, he stood up and announced, 'I just remembered I have to... reconnect the output cables in the control center on the command deck.' He all but ran from the table. Rhora looked back at her datapad, embarrassed for Matt, and kind of mad at herself.

    The rest of the day was too busy for her to dwell on, but it occurred to her that she hadn't seen Matt since lunch. Her inquiry on the system showed he'd reported to the command deck, but hadn't checked out. Maybe he'd annoyed Kylo Ren and got strangled. She hoped not - she was starting to like him. A lot. Probably too much. This was crazy.

    Rhora returned to her quarters after a meeting to find another communication, this one also signed by Kylo Ren. She was being promoted to radar officer, which meant she'd do the same job but in a different capacity. Which meant she wasn't Matt's supervisor anymore. She'd never thought she'd say it, but she was starting to like this Ren guy.

 

    The next morning Rhora reported for duty, checking the work roster and assigning techs. Matt still hadn't shown up. She was about to check the system log again when he came in.

    'Good morning,' she greeted him.

    'I heard you got a promotion,' he said. 'Congratulations.' His voice was flat as ever, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. Lips that she could now kiss without repercussions. Rhora smiled. Matt smiled back. Her heart was pounding.

    'Thank you,' she said, coming closer. 'Looks like I can sit with you today after all.'

    Rather than looking pleased, Matt suddenly looked horrified. 'Uh, I - I won't be there.' He swallowed hard.

    'But everyone has to be there.'

    'Yeah, but- Phasma! She, ah, I have to fix her personal station. Or else,' he added hastily.

    Rhora nodded. No wonder he was upset. 'Will I see you later?' she asked.

    Before he could answer, two techs returned for their next assignments, and Matt snuck out while Rhora was talking to them. 

 

    Hux's speech lasted longer than usual. He was practically frothing over the Republic, the Resistance, and all sorts of other things that started with 'R'. It was exhausting. Rhora walked slowly to her quarters, breaking off from the crowd of people who were still discussing Hux's words.

    She stopped at her door, where Matt was waiting, stepping nervously from one foot to the other. 'Hi,' he said shyly.

    Rhora smiled. 'Do you want to come in?'

    'O-okay.' Matt eyed the door as she pressed the keypad. They walked in together, the door sliding shut behind them. 'How was the speech?' he asked.

    'It was... informative.' Rhora loosened her hair, unwinding it from its knot, and taking off her work vest. Matt's eyes never left her as she did. 'How was the repair?'

    'It went well. Phasma said I totally fixed the problem. That I was the best technician in the First Order.'

    'Good,' Rhora said. 'Can I get you anything?'

    'No.'

    'Do you want to sit down?'

    'No.' Matt watched her as she came closer. He was so emotionless, hard to read, but he didn't back away from her. That was a good sign. She unfastened the top of her uniform, pulling it off her arms and letting it hang down. As she got closer, she gently took off his glasses and set them on a nearby table. It allowed her a better look at his gorgeous brown eyes. She smiled as she stood on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his neck, and pressed her lips against his softly, waiting for a reaction.

    His hands grasped her hips and pulled her closer, and he kissed her back, parting her lips with his tongue, and she moaned, not expecting such a strong response. She tried to guide him towards her bed while still kissing him, but it was hard to concentrate on walking when each time she moved, her hips brushed against the prominent bulge in his pants, and she got weak in the knees.

    Matt got the hint, and followed her over to her bed. They laid back together, still kissing, Rhora's fingers in Matt's hair-

    Which suddenly came off in her hand.

    She jumped up the bed, tossing the wig aside, and Matt looked at her, frowning. 'What is it?' he asked. His hair - his real hair - was thick and black, falling into his eyes and framing his long face perfectly. He was even more gorgeous with dark hair, but...

    'Why the wig?' Rhora asked frantically.

    Matt's eyes widened in panic, and he said, 'Uh, I was - because I...' He stared directly at her. 'Take off your clothes,' he answered.

    Rhora thought this was the best idea ever.

    As she stripped off her uniform, Matt kissed her neck, pulling up her undershirt and cupping one breast, then the other. As soon as her jumpsuit was off he pressed her into the mattress, his tongue trailing over each nipple, causing Rhora to become a lustful mess. She tried to unzip his jumpsuit, but Matt brushed her hands aside as his kisses traveled lower. 

Once Matt pulled off her underwear, Rhora decided she'd had enough teasing. She sat up, pushing Matt back on the bed, and slid the zipper down his body. Pulling it open, she found he was bare underneath, and she was pleasantly surprised at the sight of his strong body and muscled chest. He looked terrified, but she leaned down to kiss him, straddling his hips and grinding against him. Matt moaned, his hands finding her waist, and he pressed against her. 

Rhora sat up, pulling the zipper the rest of the way down, revealing his cock. It was bigger than she'd imagined, another pleasant surprise. Kissing Matt again, she stroked him, tortuously slow, and enjoyed the sounds he made as he thrust into her hand.

Without warning, she pulled her hand away, ignoring Matt's frustrated grunt, and straddled him again, this time sinking down slowly onto his cock, and they both groaned in pleasure. Rhora bounced atop him, trying to keep herself quiet, but unable to help the cries escaping her throat. Matt, for his part, just laid there, his hips pistoning furiously, but the rest of him seemingly amazed that this was happening. Rhora took his hand, pressing his fingers between their bodies, and showed him where to touch her. To his credit, he got the idea, playing with her clit as she rode him hard. It wasn't long before Rhora was coming, shaking against Matt as she collapsed on top of him, and Matt let out a long groan beneath her as he found his release.

They laid there catching their breath for several minutes, still half dressed, and then Matt sat up, looking at her with a dazed expression. 'That was amazing,' he told her breathlessly. 'I've never done that before.' He suddenly looked horrified, and sat up, zipping up his jumpsuit and picking up his wig from the floor. As he stood, he looked at her and waved his hand. 'You won't tell anyone this happened.' 

Rhora looked at him, confused. 'Huh?'

He left in a hurry, and she laid there, trying to piece together what the hell had happened. Had Matt just tried to use the Force? And why the wig?

'Oh, God,' Rhora whispered as she realized who he was.

**Author's Note:**

> I got the title from a running joke on MST3K. This should tell you how seriously I take my work.


End file.
